“I want my life and my marriage to look less like the world and more like Christ.”  

- Marquis Clarke (What Matters Most in Marriage)

This is such a simple quote, but I love it because it really speaks to my life. I have lived both a life that looks like the world and am now trying to live one that looks more like Christ.  And I have seen the glaring difference between them.  

I grew up as a cradle Catholic and my family went to church every Sunday. I received the sacraments, I went to CCD every week, and went on retreats.  But throughout my youth, in college, and into my early twenties, God was neatly compartmentalized in my life. He was for Sunday mornings (sometimes), and when I needed help, I threw up a prayer to Him (you know after crying about it or trying to solve it myself).  I didn't really consider God in my day-to-day life.  My life “looked like this world”.  

I had bought into what our culture sells that as women we should be attractive and stylish, have nice things, and be adored by others.  And I had to be perfect at everything, or I wasn't good enough -- sports, school, my personality, everything.  I saw my worth in what people thought of me.  I tried every beauty product, buying new clothes, different workout routines.  I was constantly trying to be prettier.  I remember thinking, I will feel and look good if my hair is more blond.  So at 22 on a whim, I bought some do-it-yourself blond hair dye, went back to my apartment and had my roommate bleach my hair.  You can probably guess how that turned out….  But even after the emergency hair appointment to fix it and my hair was looking pretty good, I still did not feel good enough.   I was trying to find fulfillment in the things of this world.  

I was generally happy, but not content.  I was successful, but not fulfilled.

Shortly before the hair bleaching incident, I got engaged to my now husband, Matt.  Both being Catholic, we were drawn to being married in the Church and so we had to take marriage preparation classes.  The program was led by a priest and 6 lead couples.  Each week there was a new topic, like communication, the marriage vows, attentiveness, sexuality, finances.  And each week, no matter the topic, there was a clear message: put God at the center.  

At first this sounded a little impractical.  You know, I was looking for easy answers on how to be happily married and they’re telling me the answer is to change the whole way I live my life.  But these couples were so joyful and passionate and they seemed to have exactly what we were looking for in marriage.  And that was their big word of advice:  Put God first.

It was then that Matt and I started growing in our relationship with God. -- It was nothing momentous but it was the beginning of my spiritual conversion.

We started with attending weekly mass and praying more regularly.  

We started praying together, which was a suggestion from the married couples, and hearing Matt’s innermost thoughts, worries, and dreams helped me grow closer to him and put God at the center of our marriage.

I bought a Women’s Devotional bible and eventually we joined a small group bible study.  I was learning about God through scripture and the Church’s teaching, and I was started to realize how much I had been missing.  I began to understand God’s love for me, that I wished I had known all along.  I prayed my first rosary.  I went back to confession for the first time in about fifteen years, which was scary but so worth it.  I started filtering out the music and TV shows and pop culture influences that were leading me away from God.  Slowly but surely, I started to see the fruits.  Life was starting to look more like Christ.

Our  marriage was stronger and much happier.  I was becoming less self-centered, which made me a better wife and a better person.  

Now up to a certain point in our marriage, Matt and I were still resistant to the church’s teaching on contraception.  But we were having issues that stemmed from using contraception and following the world’s teaching on sex.   It seemed like God was telling us to trust Him and start using Natural Family Planning.  Both Matt and I will tell you that this change transformed our marriage in ways we never would have dreamed. (Maybe that's for a future post...)

Shortly after becoming pregnant with our first daughter, I developed severe morning sickness.  For those of you have had this, you know how debilitating it is.  My two pregnancies were the hardest times of my life, and it was through prayer and trying to offer up my suffering that I got through it.

After we had a few years of marriage under our belts, we got involved in the same marriage prep program that we had gone through, only this time as a lead couple.  Getting involved in our parish helped us grow in our faith tremendously and we made lifelong friends with others who share our values.  

So when we moved to our new home and joined our new church last year, we knew that to continue growing in our faith, we needed to become a part of parish life.  On our second time coming to mass, I was invited to join a women’s bible study group starting up called Walking With Purpose.  It was exactly what I needed, and I certainly don't believe it in coincidences.  Being a part of a program that brings women together to learn about our faith has been such an incredible blessing for me. And my family. And pretty much anyone who has to interact with me.  It helps keep me focused, learning, praying, and building relationships with other women on the same path.  It’s through studying God's word that I finally understood that my dignity and worth rests in simply being a daughter of God.  

I have seen firsthand the truth in what Jesus says in John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.”

Looking back it’s these small steps of pushing away worldly things and bringing God closer that have led to enormous changes in my life -- I feel an inner peace that comes from knowing God’s love and forgiveness, no matter what I have done in the past.  He has given me greater clarity and I feel driven to do His will each day.  

I know that I still have a long way to go in becoming like Christ, but I have seen how seemingly small changes can have a big impact.

Lent is the perfect time to reduce the many worldly distractions and focus on growing in our relationship with Christ. He is inviting us. All we have to do is accept His invitation. And remember, we are all on our own faith journeys. Don't ever be discouraged.

Celebrating the Real Season of Christmas {December 25 and after}

Culturally, the Christmas season seems to die down a couple days after December 25.  Christmas music is no longer on the radio.  Christmas decorations are taken down, and stores relocate Christmas items to the clearance section.  This makes perfect sense in a world where we start celebrating Christmas the day after Thanksgiving.  

But for those of us who have been focusing on the waiting and expectation of Christmas during Advent, it's important that the real Christmas season gets it's due.  The Church's Christmas season technically lasts until the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, which is January 11 this year.  

We have been listening to some Christmas music and taking part in many of Christmas traditions, but I really want the Church's Christmas season to really be celebrated.  

To help us celebrate, I plan on continuing with Christmas music, visiting a local lights display, and eating special treats.  We will also be leaving our tree up for the next couple of weeks. 

In addition, there are some important feast days during the Christmas season that can be fun to celebrate.  Below is a list of the feast days and simple ideas for observing them.
  

Dec. 25 - Christmas

I'm sure you have PLENTY of ideas for celebrating Christmas day, so we'll move on...

Dec. 26 - Feast of St. Stephen (first martyr)

• Boxing Day, a British tradition celebrated on St. Stephen's Day, is a day to open the poor "boxes" and give to the needy.  As a family, gather items or money to give to the poor or prepare a gift for someone in need.
• Read or sing "Good King Wenceslas", which is about the real St. Wenceslaus, who went out to do good deeds on St. Stephen's Day

• Prepare a food characteristic of St. Stephen's Day, like the ones listed here in the blue sidebar.

Dec. 27 - Feast of St. John the Evangelist

• Read the gospel of John (written by St. John).
• John was the apostle that Jesus most loved.  He is often pictured near or next to Jesus, like at the Last Supper, the Transfiguration, and Jesus' crucifixion.  Have the kids hunt for John in biblical pictures.

• Drink wine or make hot spiced wine, as it is said St. John drank poisoned wine without getting sick and that wine offered on his feast day is blessed.
• An eagle is the symbol of St. John.  Go bird watching and look out for eagles.

Dec. 28 (Sunday) - Feast of the Holy Family

• Prep for mass with our family meeting slideshow
• Have a family get-together or family outing
• Eat Lebanese food like Mary would have prepared for Joseph and Jesus.

Dec. 29 -  St. Thomas Becket

• Have an English tea party and discuss St. Thomas' life, complete with English tea and treats, like crackers, cookies, cheese, and fruits.
• Bake sword and mitre cookies, with a simple sugar cookie recipe.  Or you could cut sandwiches into swords with mitres.
• Adults can watch Becket, which is streaming on Netflix!

Dec. 31 - St. Sylvester

• Make Sylvester Punch, an Austrian tradition of spiced wine/tea
• Give thanks for the past year and
• Celebrate the New Year

Jan. 1 - Mary, Mother of God

• Attend mass (it's a holy day of obligation)
• Pray a rosary together.
• Make a simple Blessed Brownie with a fleur-de-lis (a symbol of Mary) on top with icing or powdered sugar
• Visit the Statue of Mary at church

Jan. 3 - Most Holy Name of Jesus

• Color a poster for Jesus' name, like this one:

Free Printable
Real Life at Home

• Make cookies (or brownies, cake, etc), and cut them into J's or use icing to write Jesus's name on them.
• Pray the Litany of the Most Holy Name of Jesus

I'm hoping to plan more for the Epiphany and the Baptism of the Lord.  Have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Catholic Family Meeting {Prep for December 21} - Fourth Sunday of Advent

Oops!  So sorry I forgot to post this past week's Family Meeting slideshow.  You can still talk about the readings with your family, and we can always strive to be more like Mary, in her faith and obedience.  

Keeping Christ in Christmas: Celebrating Advent 2014 {Starting November 30th!}

**This post is an updated post from last year.  All the links and calendars have been updated for 2014.

Even though I am a cradle-Catholic, I never grew up celebrating Advent.  Not intentionally, anyway.  We went to mass during the Advent season, but I guess I just didn't pay much attention, and I figured our family's Advent wreath was just part of our regular holiday decorations.  I honestly had very little understanding of what Advent was up until a few years ago.  Since then, I have been on a slow, but steady, journey to celebrate Advent with my family.  

Ada and Grace at our church's nativity scene

So what is Advent?  

For Catholics, Advent starts the beginning of the liturgical year, and is a season of anticipation for both the birth of Jesus Christ and Jesus' second coming.  It is celebrated the four weeks leading up to Christmas.  What I love about Advent is that it helps us focus on the reason for the season: Jesus.  All those other details (Christmas gifts, cards, baking, decorating, etc) become less stressful for me, if they are put in their proper places, as ways to glorify God and celebrate His only Son.  

This 2 minute video gives a great overview of Advent:


Now, here's some music to get us anticipating the birth of Jesus!

FYI - Only when you try to compile a list of Advent songs, do you realize that pretty much every Christmas song has to do with post-Jesus' birth.  Thus, a 5 song playlist that includes 4 versions of O Come, Emmanuel (which are all pretty awesome, by the way.)  

Being pretty new to celebrating Advent, our family is trying to add one new tradition each year until we have some basics covered.  I do not want it to be overwhelming or feel like one more thing piled onto the already crazy list of "stuff" to do.  The important thing is preparing our hearts for Jesus.  I will remind myself: Advent does not have to be Pinterest-worthy.  

So, here are some simple ways to celebrate Advent with your family:

Advent wreath

Advent Wreath

An Advent wreath is a pretty simple tradition to start.  We bought ours on Amazon.com, along with the candles, for a very reasonable price.  You can also make one quite easily.  Here is a quick read about how this German custom started.  

This page on Catholic Culture provides the blessing, prayers, and explanation of what to do with your Advent wreath, and Our Sunday Visitor has an Advent guide, as well.

On the first Sunday of Advent (December 1st this year) , we will be blessing our Advent wreath and lighting the first purple candle, along with a prayer.  This is done each night of Advent.  By the second week, we will be lighting the two purple candles, and the third week sees the additional lighting of the pink "joyous" candle.  The fourth, and final, Sunday of Advent observes the lighting of the last purple candle.  The Advent wreath is a simple, yet significant way to incorporate our preparation for the birth of Christ into our daily lives.

Advent calendar

This is a tradition that you are probably familiar with.  There are so many different Advent calendars, and you can buy them at stores, online, or make your own.  Last year, my 4 year-old, Grace, looked forward to it everyday, and I'm sure she's excited to get her little sister in on the fun.  Sometimes we end up with more than one, which is no problem for us!  But to emphasize the true meaning of Advent and Christmas, I want to be sure that at least one of my Advent calendars is religious.  

Loyola Press has an awesome online Advent calendar for kids, which is also printable.  

Here is one from the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops that can be used online or printed.  It includes the Catholic feast days, suggested prayers, and activities that can be done to prepare for Christmas.

Interactive and Printable Advent Calendar
USCCB

I also love this fabric Advent calendar because the kids can add a new piece to the nativity scene each day.  I am thinking of making this with paper nativity pieces.

Fabric Advent Calendar

Jesse Tree

Jesse Tree

Up until a couple of years ago, I'd never even heard of the Jesse Tree.  So what is it?  The Jesse Tree is an Advent tradition that focuses on Jesus' family tree, as shown in the image on the left.  For more information about the background, check out this article.  Similar to the Advent calendar, a new symbol or ornament is hung on the Jesse Tree each day of Advent.  As the ornament is hung, a corresponding bible passage is read.  

There are so many different ways to do a Jesse Tree:  some simple, some complex.  I even Googled it for you.  You're welcome.

Felt Jesse Tree
Catholicseeking

More Printable Jesse Tree Ornaments
Domestic-Church

Last year was our first with a Jesse Tree.  It went over big with my then-4 year old, Grace.  We opted for printable symbols, which can be found here or here.  Then, we hung them on a small Christmas tree that I found at a local crafts store.

Other resources

Looking for some basic printouts on Advent?  Check out this page:

Free Advent Printables
Good Ground Press

Good Ground Press also makes this printable Advent Traditions Game that looks like a lot of fun.

Advent Traditions Game
Good Ground Press

Here is a short video from Catholic News Service with ideas for how to celebrate Advent:

 

May your family have a blessed Advent!  

- Jessica

Catholic Family Meeting {Prep for Sunday, October 26}

This week's gospel message is such a great one for kids and a much-needed reminder for myself.  

The Pharisees are again ready to trick Jesus into saying something for which them can arrest him.  One of them asks, "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" (Matthew 22:36)

Jesus responds:

 "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind.  This is the greatest commandment.  The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

(Matthew 22:37-39)

My family had a very fruitful discussion about how we can love God and how we can love others.  It can be hard in today's world to put God first.  Our family is trying to put certain structures in place to help us be successful.  

Here are some practical ways we are trying to love God first:

• Go to mass every Sunday
• Make Sunday a day of rest, God, and family
• Pray regularly throughout the day as a family (morning, meals, bedtime, etc)
• Pray the rosary as a family
• Have these weekly family meetings to read scripture and learn about God together
• Celebrate saint feastdays 
• Read the bible at bedtime regularly
• Take part in adult bible study programs 
• Spend time with other families from our church

Here is this week's family meeting slideshow:

Have a blessed week!

Building our domestic church and starting weekly family meetings

"The family is, so to speak, the domestic church.  In it parents should, by their word and example, be the first preachers of the faith to their children..." - Dogmatic Constitution of the Church

I want our home to truly be a "domestic church".  Over the last few years, we've incorporated the ideas listed by the USCCB here for making our home and family a domestic church, and they have made a big difference with both us as parents and with the children.  In fact, just having crucifixes on the walls has led the kids to constantly find crosses and mention Jesus when we are out and about.  Although these ideas have worked well, we have been meaning to do a better job of preparing the kids for mass by discussing the readings in advance.

I'd heard a couple years ago about how the LDS (Mormon) Church has something called Family Home Evening, which is a special family night once a week that includes prayer, scripture, and family bonding time.  This is such an awesome idea, and I want to start something like it (a Catholic version) with my own family.

The Catholic Church doesn't have its own structured program, but after searching, I did find this Family Catechesis program from The Apostolate for Family Consecration.  There are some great materials here (especially the discussion guides that you can access by clicking English Set A, B, or C), but I think this program may be a little much for our family of young children (5 and 2 years old).  

So I decided to take some of the basic ideas found in the program and tweak it to create a simpler format for our family that hopefully won't take too much time or effort to prepare for each week. 

For easy reuse and to limit paper, I created a simple slideshow that includes pages for each main part of the weekly family meeting or "domestic church".  I plan on keeping one as a template and typing into it each week.  

This is what I'm going to use this week for our first meeting:

Here are some basics on how we will use it, some of which come from the Family Catechesis program described above:

• Opening Prayer 
• Start with spontaneous prayer asking for the Holy Spirit's guidance
• End with the Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be

• Liturgical Calendar
• State whether it is Ordinary Time, Advent, Christmas, Lent, etc.
• Tell about any feastdays in the upcoming week.
• Read the readings for the week, which can be found here.
• When preparing you may also want to watch the video reflection for the Sunday's readings, which can be found in the left sidebar.

• Family Activity
• This can be anything that relates to the scripture readings, like videos, children's books, crafts, coloring pages, a family outing, planning a service project, baking, etc.
• I am making sure whatever we choose to do is not simply fluff, like coloring a sheep because it was in the story.  I really want to teach the meat of the story, and this can be done in lots of fun ways.
• Some ideas can be found at Catholicmom.com

• Scripture Verse of the Week
• Choose a part of one of the readings or a related bible quote to focus on for the week, and maybe even memorize.
• We will be displaying it on a Weekly Verse chalkboard frame that I'm in the process of making.

• Closing Prayer
• Start with a spontaneous prayer related to the week's focus.
• Every member of the family can add petitions, which can be added to a family prayer board
• Could include common prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be) or a special prayer from a saint.

If you're interested in having your own family meetings, feel free to use the template below.  I believe you can edit it by clicking the settings gear and then download as PPTX.  

I'm sure I will be improving this as we go along, but I'd also love to hear any suggestions or how your family does family meetings.

The Trinity for Kids

Holy Trinity Sunday is coming up this weekend, so I decided to teach my five year old about the Trinity.  To be honest, up until this point I have avoided going too in depth with her on the Trinity because it is a very deep concept and difficult to comprehend, even for adults!  But it is a core teaching and this is a great opportunity to prepare her to better understand what she will learn at church this Sunday.  

To educate myself on the Solemnity of the Holy Trinity I looked here at Catholic Culture (which is such a great website!).

Here are some of the ways I plan on teaching my little girl about the Trinity:

Read about the Holy Trinity

I like the explanation that this bulletin provides on the left side, as it is clear and to the point.  The dot-to-dot on the right will create one of the symbols of the Trinity (some of which are included below).  Just ignore or change the date on it, and you are good as gold!

Printable Trinity Kids' Bulletin
The Kids' Bulletin

Discuss symbols of the Trinity

The following are some symbols used to describe or illustrate the Trinity.  

Trinity Symbols
Catholic Resources

This first one is more kid-friendly version of the Shield of the Trinity, which has been used for hundreds of years.  You can paste it into a word document, print, and have your child color it as a poster or banner for decoration.

Printable Shamrock

Teaching With TLC

The shamrock is also a symbol of the Trinity that was introduced by St. Patrick in Ireland.  The one here can be printed, and your child can attach the labels of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit where they belong.

Triquetra Explanation
About.com Christianity

I've seen this Triquetra before, usually as tattoos actually, but didn't know that it is a symbol of the Trinity.  You learn something new everyday!

Use objects to build a concrete understanding

The concept of the Trinity is difficult for kids (and adults) to conceive of because it is beyond our human understanding.  Using objects, in this case water, an egg, or apple to provide examples of how something can be 3 at the same time as 1.  Of course, this can be an oversimplification of the enormity of God, so I'll be sure to emphasize the deeper points, as well.

Ideas for Teaching the Trinity With Objects
Global Post

Eat pretzels!

I'd heard that pretzels symbolize arms crossed in prayer, but they can also symbolize the Trinity.  We're going to be snacking on some pretzels this week!

Pretzel Explains the Trinity
Jesus Did It All

Make Trinity crafts

Here are a couple simple crafts from Catholic Icing that can be done to help kids understand this complex idea.

Printable Trinity Shamrock Craft
Catholic Icing

Simple Trinity Triangle Craft
Catholic Icing

Read bible stories about the Holy Trinity

There are several passages in the bible that tell explicitly of the Trinity.  

One of the best stories to teach this is the baptism of Jesus in Matthew 3:13-17.  The following is a video that details the events leading up to and including Jesus' baptism by John the Baptist, the descent of the Holy Spirit as a dove, and God speaking.  If you want just the events of Jesus' baptism, start the video at 19:30.

Another passage I love comes from 2 Corinthians 13:13 "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the holy Spirit be with all of you."  That would be a great quote to frame and hang up!

Hopefully my Grace and I will at least try a few of these ideas out this week.  May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you!
- Jessica

Joan of Arc, Super Hero Saint {May 30}

Most people have heard of Joan of Arc, but few know that she is a Catholic saint.  Hers is an unbelievable story of courage and faith.

If I think back to when I was in my teens, I spent most of my days driving around with friends, playing lacrosse or field hockey, perusing malls, eating Little Debbies, and talking on the phone (a house phone at that).  Well in her preteens, Joan of Arc, a peasant girl from the countryside, started hearing voices...the voices of saints:  St. Michael, St. Catherine, and St. Margaret.  By her teens, the voices told her to go to the King of France and help him reclaim much of his kingdom from the English, during the Hundred Years' War.  And she did.  Just a girl from the countryside, going to chat with the King of France.  What?!

Here is a quote of her explaining the voices:

"I was thirteen when I had a Voice from God for my help and guidance. The first time that I heard this Voice, I was very much frightened; it was mid-day, in the summer, in my father's garden. I had not fasted the day before. I heard this Voice to my right, towards the Church; rarely do I hear it without its being accompanied also by a light. This light comes from the same side as the Voice. Generally it is a great light. Since I came into France I have often heard this Voice. … If I were in a wood, I could easily hear the Voice which came to me. It seemed to me to come from lips I should reverence. I believe it was sent me from God. When I heard it for the third time, I recognized that it was the Voice of an Angel. This Voice has always guarded me well, and I have always understood it; it instructed me to be good and to go often to Church; it told me it was necessary for me to come into France. You ask me under what form this Voice appeared to me? You will hear no more of it from me this time. It said to me two or three times a week: 'You must go into France.' My father knew nothing of my going. The Voice said to me: 'Go into France !' I could stay no longer. It said to me: 'Go, raise the siege which is being made before the City of Orleans. Go !' it added, 'to Robert de Baudricourt, Captain of Vaucouleurs: he will furnish you with an escort to accompany you.' And I replied that I was but a poor girl, who knew nothing of riding or fighting. I went to my uncle and said that I wished to stay near him for a time. I remained there eight days. I said to him, 'I must go to Vaucouleurs.' He took me there. When I arrived, I recognized Robert de Baudricourt, although I had never seen him. I knew him, thanks to my Voice, which made me recognize him."

In 1429, at 17, Joan of Arc was suited in armor and fighting on the battlefield at Orleans.  She was a part of what are often deemed miraculous military successes, and saw the crowning of King Charles in part of France that had been heavily occupied by the English.  

However, after those couple years of success, Joan was captured and tried by the English for heresy.  She was burned at the stake on May 30, 1431 at  just 19 years old.  

Of course, that is a very short summary of her life.  More information can be found at Catholic Culture and Maid of Heaven.  

Besides her story, Joan also left us with some awesomely inspiring quotes.  These are a few of my favorites:

Genius Quotes

Lifehack Quotes

Screaming Catholic.tumblr

What I love so much about St. Joan of Arc is her sheer obedience to God.  She followed His will even if it meant leaving all she knew, risking her life, and inevitably dying.  She showed great courage in doing what seemed to be impossible, especially being a girl from a poor family in that time period.  She is an example of faith and trust in God.  I want to be more like her!  And I want to show my 5 year old, Grace, examples of strong women who follow God.  

Here are a few ideas I've found to teach kids about this amazing saint:

Color pictures of St. Joan of Arc

St. Joan of Arc Coloring Pages
Catholic Playground

Learn about her battle standard (battle flag).

St. Joan's Battle Standard
St. Joan Center

St. Joan carried three "flags" into battle with her:  the battle standard (above), pennon, and banner.  A description of each can be found at the St. Joan Center.  These pieces tell a lot about Joan's faith.

I am planning on having Grace make her own standard, and I'll include that in an upcoming post.

Check out the Joan of Arc Activity and Resource Book

The Animated Heroes Classics Activity and Resource Book for Joan of Arc has over 40 pages of activities, such as coloring pages, games, crosswords, quiz questions, and discussion questions that you can print out and use.  I particularly like the coloring pages with descriptions of her life events, as well as activity suggestions like creating a coat of arms or flag  (like above).  

"Whatever thing men call great, look for it in Joan of Arc, and there you will find it."

- Mark Twain